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Why is apologizing so hard?

For some people, saying “I'm sorry” is so hard because they view apologies from a dichotomous position. “They think that by taking responsibility for an action, it absolves the other person from any role or culpability, so naturally, they can't bring themselves to apologise,” Dr Babb tells Stylist.
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Why do I have such a hard time apologizing?

When this happens, it's usually for one of two reasons: (1) We don't care enough about the other person or the relationship to take on the emotional discomfort of owning our mistake and apologizing for it; or (2) We believe our apology won't matter.
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Why is sorry the hardest word to say?

Some people refuse to say sorry because they want to subconsciously avoid feeling shame, which may reinforce their own negative self-image. Others may equate apologising with weakness and making themselves feel vulnerable.
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Why does it take so long to apologize?

It's because making amends to another person can be so important and meaningful that it's worth taking time to do it well. Many hurts, especially old ones or major ones, require more than one brief talk to express and understand, much less to heal.
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What is the psychology behind apologizing?

Apologizing re-establish dignity for those you hurt: Letting the injured party know that you know it was your fault, not theirs, helps them feel better, and it helps them save face. Apologizing helps repair relationships: By getting people talking again, an apology makes them feel comfortable with each other again.
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The best way to apologize (according to science)

What trauma causes over-apologizing?

Over-apologizing, on the other hand, can stem from a myriad of formative childhood experiences. For some, over-apologizing is a way to avoid conflict, especially if they grew up in a household where conflict sparked screaming matches, or led to violence. It can also stem from a fear of abandonment.
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Is apologizing a trauma response?

But, when we talk about apologizing, we wrap all of these complex concepts up into a single practice. It's a common trauma-state response to want to avoid conflict. Conflict can feel dangerous.
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How often does the average person apologize?

According to new research from Canadian psychologists, people apologize about four times a week. But, on average, they offer up these apologies much more often to strangers (22% of the time) than to romantic partners (11%) or family members (7%).
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Why can't narcissists apologize?

Narcissists are constantly in self-protection mode. Another reason narcissists refuse to apologize is because to apologize requires empathy. Empathy is the capacity to place yourself into someone else's position and to understand what someone else is feeling.
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How long is too late to apologize?

It is the words and actions that help move us past the situation to greener pastures where the person who was offended needs to rebuild trust in order to feel safe again. It is never too late to apologize, it is just a matter of how to do it properly.
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Why is apologizing seen as weak?

It's how we own up to our mistakes that makes all the difference. We tend to view apologies as a sign of weakness—as if we are less of a person if we make a mistake. But in fact, owning up to our flaws and mistakes requires a lot of strength and self-awareness.
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What is weak apology?

Weak apologies show a lack of effort to take care of a situation. They make a person appear reluctant to take responsibility or look out for the well-being of others.
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What is the strongest word for sorry?

adj.remorseful, regretful. adj.sad, heartbroken. pathetic.
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How can I get better at apologizing?

Steps for saying you're sorry
  1. Before you do anything, practise self-affirmation. It's important to start by saying a few positive words to yourself. ...
  2. Spell out why you want to apologise. ...
  3. Admit you were wrong. ...
  4. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  5. Say you're sorry. ...
  6. Ask them to forgive you.
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Does anxiety cause over apologizing?

However, this habit of over-apologizing can be a sign of anxiety. Anxiety craves the approval of others, and hates the presence of tension, so apologizing for even the most minor things can be a sign of an anxious mind.
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What not to do when apologizing?

The more mindful you can be in the process of making amends, the more meaningful your words can be—and the more difference they can make.
  1. Re-trying your case. ...
  2. Promising something you can't deliver. ...
  3. Ignoring the reason the problem happened in the first place. ...
  4. Adding conditions that negate the apology.
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What personality type never apologizes?

Someone with NPD or narcissistic behaviors is unlikely to do things like apologize or sing your praises without it being self-serving. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a “narcissist.”
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What are the 5 main habits of a narcissist?

Common Narcissist Characteristics
  • Inflated Ego.
  • Lack of Empathy.
  • Need for Attention.
  • Repressed Insecurities.
  • Few Boundaries.
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What are 12 signs of a narcissist?

12 signs of narcissism
  • Superiority and entitlement. The world of the narcissist is all about good-bad, superior-inferior, and right-wrong. ...
  • Exaggerated need for attention and validation. ...
  • Lack of responsibility—blaming and deflecting. ...
  • Lack of boundaries. ...
  • Lack of empathy. ...
  • Emotional reasoning. ...
  • Splitting. ...
  • Fear.
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What kind of people apologize most often?

Excessive apologizing could be tied to mental health conditions like:
  • depression.
  • social anxiety.
  • generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)
  • obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
  • borderline personality disorder (BPD)
  • post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
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Should I apologize if I'm not sorry?

It's simple – don't apologize when you're not sorry for what you're saying or doing. And become extremely vigilant in watching your words and understanding your feelings, and making sure your words are a close match to what you're actually feeling, even though those emotions may be scary to admit out loud.
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What country says sorry the most?

The British are famous for how frequently they say 'sorry' – even when they're not at fault.
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What is the emotional abuse apology cycle?

The cycle of abuse is made up of four stages. These stages include the building of tension, the abuse incident, the reconciliation, and a period of calm.
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What are the three types of sorry?

There are three basic types of apologies.
  • The Obscure Apology.
  • The Sham Apology.
  • The Genuine Apology.
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Is saying sorry a form of manipulation?

To be truly sorry means feeling regret or sorrow over an unfortunate situation and your role in it. But in unhealthy relationships, people often say, “I'm sorry” not to express genuine regret; instead, they use it to manipulate their significant other.
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